One is the Loneliest Number

This Post was originally published on February 14th, 2014

Happy Singles Awareness Day

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Not having anybody to kiss makes New Years less enjoyable, constantly needing a date to weddings is a pain in the ass, but the worst thing about being single has to be Valentines day. I am happy for everyone in my life who is in a relationship, and as much as I appreciated all the pictures of flowers, candle lit dinners, and long walks on the beach that were posted today, being alone on this snowy Friday sucks. I could be ranting about how Valentines day is nothing but a corporate sham forced down our throats by the PR department of Hallmark, or bashing my head against the wall each time I hear a commercial for Christian Mingle, or screaming at the top of my lungs about the fact that they had to spring this holiday during the depths of winter when lack of sunlight and human interaction has resulted in me being nearly homicidal, or merely wallowing in self pity. Instead I am going to highlight the things in my life that would be worse if I had a serious girlfriend.

• In the short term I would probably be driving through a snow storm to an expensive dinner rather than sitting around writing a facebook blog while listening to Tupac. I probably couldn’t have the delicious diner that I just made (tortellini, maple balsamic beets, and smoky sauteed kale). Maybe I would have cooked Valentines Day dinner but since I apparently can’t get involved with any girl who lives in the same area code I doubt it. This is a double whammy because most places that serve fancy dinners during a snow storm probably don’t let you wear sweat pants (don’t judge me).

• Relationships are expensive, and I am pretty cheap. Plus all my extra cash winds up going to a lovely lady named Sallie Mae anyway. In fact if I had to worry about spending time with a special lady then I would probably have to cut back on working so much, maybe if she was lenient I could pull of 2 jobs but 3 would be out of the question.

• Traveling is my favorite hobby, and I especially love to travel solo. I spent all day Saturday wandering around Boston with loose plans that I made up on the go. I don’t ever have an agenda, I just walk around and find out what kind of trouble I could get into. Even when I travel in groups I always tend to wander off and do my own thing, that is pretty impossible to do if you are traveling with that special someone. I don’t know if I can imagine my life without that sense of adventure, what about the places I would miss, or the burritos that I may never try. Side note my burritocentric lifestyle might have to make some changes for obvious burrito related reasons.

• A lot of my close friends are wonderful ladies… well in some (most) of the cases I use the term “Ladies” loosely. These are people who are integral to my story and I have seen that when someone gets into a relationship they understandably focus their energy into the relationship instead of interacting with their weirdo friends like me. I think that cutting back interactions with these friends would be a huge blow to me because I know some petty fantastic ladies (term used loosely). Many of them are smart, funny, interesting, beautiful, and just about anything else that I could ask for. I enjoy touching base with them about the adventures in their lives, or to tell jokes, or just to see how their day went. You may ask “If you have so many amazing ladies (term used loosely) in your life why don’t you date one of them” and that is a good question. First of all many of them aren’t looking for a giant bearded man who spends his Friday nights listening to Tupac in sweatpants. Secondly I am afraid of rejection, not the getting rejected part, I have plenty of experience in that area, but how getting rejected could change the dynamic of what I think are some pretty special friendships. Maybe I am leaving too much out there and not taking the initiative is hurting me, but unfortunately that is the way it goes.

• I would probably have to change my decorating scheme. I know my John Goodman poster really ties the room together but for some reason it doesn’t scream “stable relationship”. In fact I would probably have to buy new clothes, non sweatpant type clothes. Fortunately since I drive an Outback I am relationship ready, it has plenty of room for car seats and juice boxes. I am sure that there are lot of other things that would need to change, but why worry about it now? I figure that I can cross that bridge when I come to it.

In the end I want a relationship, but it isn’t the most important thing in my life. I really do want to meet that special someone and start a family and get a house with a white picket fence and all that stuff. I hope that I am going to meet the right person, or if I have met her already she will come around to see how awesome I am. After sitting through weddings for about a dozen of my friends I definitely feel the need to start moving in that direction, but I am just not ready to devote my life to that quest. I am only 28 with many years of adventures in front of me, and hopefully I will find someone who is willing to take this wild ride with me. I’m not just shrugging it off, there is still a burden on me. I need to make myself better at interacting with people, and work out more, and stop being on the go all the time, and many other things, but im not sure that Christian Mingle is the best way to make myself better. In the end I am going to enjoy listening to Tupac on this snowy night while thinking deeply about the ladies in my life. I probably picked the wrong month to stop drinking.